Best One liners and Quotes

Some Useless Facts...

2007-12-24T19:13:00.000+05:30

Starfish have no brain.
Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter "E".
Bulls are color blind.
A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds.
"Babe" was played by over 48 pigs.
Mosquitoes have 47 teeth.
Lip stick contains fish scales.
The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2200 people.
The largest known kidney stone weighed 1.36 kilograms.
Kidney stones come in any color from yellow to brown.
Women blink twice as many times as men do.
The McDonalds at the SkyDome in Toronto, Ontario is the only one in the world that sells hot dogs.
A bowling pin only has to tilt 7.5 degrees in order to fall down.
The first episode of Leave It To Beaver aired on October 4, 1957.
Beaver Cleaver's locker number is 9.
The first flushing toilet seen on TV was on Leave It To Beaver.
Jerry Seinfeld's apartment number (on the show) is 5A. In the old episodes it was 3A.
The life span of a taste bud is ten days.
Pi has been calculated to 2,260,321,363 digits.
The billionth digit in Pi is 9.

More Inspirational one liners and quotes

2007-12-18T19:05:00.000+05:30

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
Smile, it increases your face value.
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.
Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product.
Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all-he's walking on them.
It's your aptitude not just your attitude that determines your ultimate altitude.
The greatest discovery of my generation is that a man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind.
Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.
It is not the position, but the disposition.
Men take only their needs into consideration, never their abilities.
Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help with man with the wrong mental attitude.
For success, attitude is equally as important as ability.
Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.
Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us.

Inspirational one liners and quotes

2007-12-18T19:00:00.000+05:30

Failure is always temporary, only giving up makes it permanent.
Do a little more every day than you think you can.
Character equals destiny.
When character is gained, everything is gained.
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
Be critical of both new ideas and accepted wisdom.
Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.
Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.
Keep your face to the sunshine and you can never see the shadow.
People who never achieve happiness are the ones who complain whenever they're awake, and whenever they're asleep, they are thinking about what to complain about tomorrow.
A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
To change and to change for the better are two different things.

Some Quotes from Fountainhead

2007-12-17T18:44:00.000+05:30

"A house can have integrity, just like a person, and just as seldom."

"People were his protection against people. Howard Roark had no sense of people."

"One can't love man without hating most of the creatures who pretend to bear his name."

"Worry is a waste of emotional reserve."

"There is a stage of worship which makes the worshiper himself an object of reverence."

"Every form of happiness is private. Our greatest moments are personal, self-motivated, not to be touched."

"Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."

"Whatever their future, at the dawn of their lives, men seek a noble vision of man's nature and of life's potential."

"His face was closed like a safety vault; things locked in safety vaults are valuable; men did not care to feel that."

"Show me your achievement - and the knowledge will give me courage for mine.

"She could not have reached this white serenity except as the sum of all the colors, of all the violence she had known."

"They talked quietly, with a feeling of companionship such as that of an old married couple; as if he had possessed her body, and the wonder of it had long since been consumed, and nothing remained but an untroubled intimacy."

"I am a man who does not exist for others.

"...the person who loves everybody and feels at home everywhere is the true hater of mankind. He expects nothing of men, so no form of depravity can outrage him."

"I have come here to say that I do not recognize anyone's right to one minute of my life. . . . It had to be said. The world is perishing from an orgy of self-sacrificing."

Perfection one liners

2007-12-08T11:20:00.001+05:30

Perfection is an illusion we all aspire to achieve
being perfect is boring...if u have flaws,u r interesting.
I cant change myself becoz it is difficult to alter perfection.
Do not confuse Excellance with Perfection,Excelllance we can aim for,perfection is totally God's business!
Practice never makes a man prefect, perfect practice does that!!
I've achieved PERFECTION only others differ on my views.
I m perfect at perfection
perfection....an illusion created by a lazy soul who doesn't wanna improve.
Nobody is perfect, I am Nobody.

Collection of Best One Liners on Work --- Murphys' Law on work

2007-12-01T20:09:00.001+05:30

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
People are always available for work in the past tense.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.
No one gets sick on Wednesdays.
When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, 'How would the Lone Ranger handle this?'
The longer the title, the less important the job.
Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
An 'acceptable' level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.
Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.

More One Liners on Work --- Murphys' Law on work

2007-12-01T20:08:00.001+05:30

Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.
Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. This is what I'm doing wrong.
Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous.'
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.
There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

Best One Liners related to Work --- Murphys' Law on work

2007-12-01T20:06:00.001+05:30

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Kurt Cobain's Quotes

2007-12-01T18:58:00.001+05:30

Here are few Quotes of Kurt Cobain.

A friend is nothing but a known enemy.
Don't expect me to cry for all the reasons you had to die.
Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self esteem.
I bought a gun and chose drugs instead.
I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a classic case of divorce really affected me.
I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else.
I started being really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't.
I was looking for something a lot heavier, yet melodic at the same time. Something different from heavy metal, a different attitude.
I won't eat anything green.
I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
I'm so happy because today I found my friends - they're in my head.
I'm too busy acting like I'm not Naive. I've seen it all, I was here first.
I've always had a problem with the average macho man - they've always been a threat to me.
If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!
If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.
If you ever need anything please don't hesitate to ask someone else first.
It's better to burn out than fade away.
It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings.
Punk is musical freedom. It's saying, doing and playing what you want. In Webster's terms, 'nirvana' means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world, and that's pretty close to my definition of Punk Rock.
Rather be dead than cool.
The duty of youth is to challenge corruption.
The worst crime is faking it.
Thought the sun is gone, I have a light.
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
We have no right to express an opinion until we know all of the answers.
We're so trendy we can't even escape ourselves.

Some Q&A over Lawyers

2007-12-01T18:52:00.001+05:30

Q. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start!

Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.

Q. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Q. What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?
A. A Lobotomy.

Q. How do you save five drowning lawyers?
A. Who cares?

Q. What do you call a block of cement containing ten lawyers?
A. A waste of cement.

Q. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A1. Shoot him before he hits the water.
A2. Take your foot off his head.

Q. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A. Cut the rope.

Q. What do you do if you run over a Lawyer?
A1. Back over him to make sure.
A2. Make another notch on the steering wheel.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of sh*t?
A. The bucket.

Q. What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A. When a bus load of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q. What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A. There was an empty seat.

Q. What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A. Stick his bill up his ass.

Q. What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A. An offer you can't understand.

Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.

Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetery.

One Liners on Lawyers

2007-12-01T18:47:00.001+05:30

99% of lawyers are giving the rest a bad name.
Criminal Lawyer - a redundant phrase.
Send lawyers, guns and money!
Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?... He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
The defendant who pleads their own case has a fool for a client, but at least there will be no problem with fee-splitting.
There was the cartoon showing two people fighting over a cow. One was pulling the cow by the tail; the other was pulling on the horns. Underneath was a lawyer milking the cow.
If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator -- It would be a good idea to just leave them there.
I broke a mirror in my house and I am supposed to get 7 years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me 5.

Questions related to Lawyers

2007-12-01T18:37:00.000+05:30

What do lawyers use for birth control?
## Their personalities.
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
##A tick falls off of you when you die.
Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
##To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.
What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
##Not enough sand.
What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
##There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
## A Doberman.
Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
## If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
##One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
## They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Lawyer's creed:
## A man is innocent until proven broke.
What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
## Lipstick.
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
## Skeet.
What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer?
##Chelsea Clinton
If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?
## It might be your bicycle.
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
## The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.
It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?)
## ...... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
"$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer.
"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.
"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
## You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Do you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
## He gets taller.

&lt;br>

More One Liners on Death

2007-12-01T18:23:00.001+05:30

Death is hereditary.
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. (Terry Pratchett)
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
You should always show up at your funeral.
If I die, I'm taking you with me!... oh, -you're- dying? Forget I said anything.
"A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic." - Joseph Stalin
The only certain thing in life is death.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours.
Over half the world's population die.
I have decided to live forever, or die in the attempt.
Death to all fanatics!
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Death One Liners

2007-12-01T18:11:00.000+05:30

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which a person can die.
Don't upset me.. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.
I can't live with death; he's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Give me immortality or give me death.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?
It's not how you die that matters. It's who you take with you.
Don't run, you'll just die tired.
Why won't you die?!?!
Guns don't kill people; death kills people. It's a proven medical fact.
He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.
It's too early in the morning for suicide.
Death, taxes and depression: three things you can always depend on.

&lt;br>

More flirting one liners

2007-12-01T01:30:00.001+05:30

Hey did it hurt????????when god dropped u from heaven????
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
oh.... u r so gorgeous... that i almost forgot my standard pickup line
i'm here to wipe tat singles tag ur carring!!
do u believe in love at first sight or shud i pass ba again...
hey beauty, i have lost my mobile, can i borrow your number?
Is your name Gillette? 'Cause you're the best a man can get. ;)
V both R staying alone, so whose house is the Best...?
If you held up 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
I waited my whole life to date the girl of my dreams, but I dumped that chick when I saw you.
I may not be the best looking guy in here,but i'm the ONLY ONE talking to u
You must be really tired!!! coz u have been running in my mind all day
is that a stampead or is it just my heart pounding!!!
Smile its the second best thing you can do with your lips...!!!!
Do you have a coin? I want to call your parents to thank them.

Best flirting one liners

2007-12-01T01:22:00.001+05:30

Its girls like u that cause global warming!!!!!!
Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.
Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Overheard in our computer lab: Just because your computers are incompatible, doesn't mean we are.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something ... My Jaw !!!
When God made you, he was showing off

You might be an engineer if..............

2007-11-29T00:48:00.001+05:30

At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma
Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room
In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure
The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling
You bought your wife a new CD-ROM for her birthday
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects
You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area
You have even saved the power cord from a broken appliance
You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married
You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
You know what http:// actually stands for.
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
You see a good design and still have to change it
You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring
You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)
You window shop at Radio Shack
You're in the back seat of your convertible, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite
You know what the geosynchronous satellite’s function is
Your checkbook always balances
Your laptop computer costs more than your car
Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
Your wristwatch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium
You've already calculated how much you make per second
You've even tried to repair a $5 radio

Some Facts ..

2007-11-28T13:27:00.001+05:30

Almonds are a member of the peach family.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
The largest cabbage weighed 144 lbs.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula" - and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A."
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Tigers have striped skin, not just stripped fur.
In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this at home!)
The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
Many hamsters blink one eye at a time.
The inventor of the flushing toilet was Thomas Crapper.
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites.
Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A.
Whitby, Ontario has more donut stores per capita than any other place in the world.

Some facts you never wanna know

2007-11-28T13:22:00.001+05:30

For every human being on earth, there are about 200 million insects.
The harmonica is the world's most popular instrument.
By the time they are 65 years old, most Americans have watched more than nine years worth of television.
The puck in ice hockey can travel at up to 118 mph (190 km/h).
If you stretched all the nerves in the body from end to end, they would be about 47 miles long.
Humans have more than 600 muscles in their bodies.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Engineers One liners

2007-11-28T13:11:00.001+05:30

Good engineers are not born, they are Pre-fabricated
Pi - Gods way of telling you to get a bigger calculator
Bio-engineers, now everyone gets a drumstick at thanksgiving.
If God didn't want perfect circles he wouldn't have invented Pi.
Warning - Inversion intolerant
Contents liable to Over reaction
Sorry, I only drink Decalitres
If found please return to (insert GPS co-ordinates)
Civil engineers, Lifes way of saying your rubbish at sports.
I can calculate your interest in me to 9 decimal places
Could I interest you in my Na2Ca2Al6Si9O30·8(H2O) collection ?
I prefer the term Bio-culture harvester instead of "Fat"
(R-CH2OH) fueled love machine
Opinions crushed while you wait
Bio-engineers - Life forms created, your place or mine ?
I came, I saw, I adjusted the azimuth a bit
I could go on for days ....
Please remove upon installation

Money One liners

2007-11-27T13:31:00.001+05:30

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible.
Money takes the sting out of being poor.
Money can't buy everything... but then again neither can no money.
We were soooooo poor, we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick the other kid's fingers
"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors." - J. Bothne
The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.
Give 'til it hurts... then have your accountant calculate the write- off.