Death One Liners

• Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
• I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which a person can die.
• Don't upset me.. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
• Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.
• I can't live with death; he's always leaving the toilet seat up.
• Give me immortality or give me death.
• If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?
• It's not how you die that matters. It's who you take with you.
• Don't run, you'll just die tired.
• Why won't you die?!?!
• Guns don't kill people; death kills people. It's a proven medical fact.
• He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.
• It's too early in the morning for suicide.
• Death, taxes and depression: three things you can always depend on.