Saturday, December 1, 2007

Death One Liners

  • Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which a person can die.
  • Don't upset me.. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
  • I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
  • Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.
  • I can't live with death; he's always leaving the toilet seat up.
  • Give me immortality or give me death.
  • If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?
  • It's not how you die that matters. It's who you take with you.
  • Don't run, you'll just die tired.
  • Why won't you die?!?!
  • Guns don't kill people; death kills people. It's a proven medical fact.
  • He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.
  • It's too early in the morning for suicide.
  • Death, taxes and depression: three things you can always depend on.

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